Rejection is a hard pill to swallow, no matter what type it is. Whether it is in your love life, your career, or in your social circles, all rejection stings and can leave a person feeling numb and distraught. If you are not careful, you can tailspin into deep sadness, low self-esteem, and even depression. In this article, I’m going to give you some tips on how to overcome rejection.
1 – Allow Yourself To Grieve (only for a time)
Grieving is perfectly okay. In fact it’s a necessary part of the process. If you try to hinder the grief process by ignoring your feelings or masking it, you aren’t doing yourself any favors. You have to grieve to move on. During my divorce from my first wife I did everything I could to avoid grieving. Not only did I make myself very unhealthy, but I developed bad habits, and still had to grieve on top of that. If you need to take the day off of work, do it. Get out of Dodge for the weekend, if needed. If you need to sit on the couch and cry all night, do it. But set a predetermined amount of time to grieve. After a few days, a week, or when you feel you should be done dealing with it, move on.
2 – Write Down The Reason for Rejection and Refute It
To overcome rejection you must face it head on. To do this, you need to get everything out on paper. This helps put things into perspective. If you were rejected in a relationship, for instance, write down the reason you were rejected at the top of a piece of paper. It doesn’t matter if the reason is perceived or the person told you point-blank why they are leaving. Make a list of them, and for each, write a paragraph refuting each one.
For instance if they said, “I’m just not attracted to you anymore,” or “you are boring,” write a paragraph with examples of how you are very attractive and exciting. It may be tough to think of these things when you are feeling down and out, but force yourself to think of positives and I promise the words will begin to flow.
Doing this exercise will remind you of how great you are, and you’ll begin feeling better about yourself. The more you do this, the more resilient you’ll become to rejection.
3 – Realize It Really Isn’t About You
Rejection is about them, not you. So when they say, “It’s not you, it’s me,” you should say, “you are absolutely right.” Rejection is not a reflection on you as a person. If you weren’t right for that man or woman, it doesn’t mean you are not worth dating or being in a relationship with. If you didn’t get that job or promotion, is it because you are incompetent? No of course not. Try not to take rejection too personally.
4 – Recognize Your Positive Attributes
No one is perfect, but no one is completely flawed either. You have plenty of positive traits and you should recognize them. Write down a list of things you love about yourself and keep it in a place where you can see it. Sometimes we forget how special and amazing we are. You have a lot to offer and even though things didn’t work out this time, there are people out there who will recognize all the positives you have.
Overcoming rejection can seem impossible at first but you can do it. By allowing yourself to grieve for a short time, refuting the reasons you were rejected, realizing it really isn’t about you, and recognizing your positive attributes, you will avoid tail-spinning into sadness and be on your feet again in no time.
How did you overcome rejection when it happened to you? Let me know in the comments below.