Family love is a different type of love. It’s a unique bond in which a whole group of individuals have one common background. Sometimes, however, that’s the only thing these individuals have in common. Most families have issues, but then there are some that just have DRAMA. Yet, family members continue to surround themselves with this toxicity even when they don’t have to. This amazes me. If you have a family member or members who just bring you down, it’s perfectly okay to avoid being around them. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Loving family from a distance is okay. Here are some tips to help.
Let Go Of The Guilt
Stop feeling guilty because it’s “family”. You must focus on you, your spouse, and kids (inner circle family). That’s number one. Why subject yourself and your inner circle family to mistreatment and frustration just because you share a common last name with someone who is hurtful and brings you down? You don’t owe anyone anything. Stop feeling guilty for not attending every family event or function. Your happiness should be priority. Let go of the guilt and certainly don’t let anyone else in the family make you feel guilty.
You Are Not In Control
You are not in control of your family’s happiness so stop being a martyr. Your family will survive if you don’t come running at their every beckoned call. The only thing you can control is your own happiness. No one else’s.
Still Be There For Them
Loving your family from a distance does not mean that you should stop supporting them or being there for them as much as you can. It just means that you limit your time with them. You can still lend support via social media or a good ol’ fashion phone conversation. Be careful if even that becomes toxic. You may have to limit lines of communication as well. My point is that you can still support family (as you should) even though you are not physically around them.
I know many people suffer with this issue. It’s common to feel you “owe” it to family to be around them even though it may tear you up inside. Don’t put yourself through this. Eventually, something is going to give. There will likely be a blow up and relationships among family members will get a lot worse and even awkward. It’s okay to limit your time being around toxic people including family members. Loving family from a distance is perfectly fine and sometimes the healthiest option.